One nightmare after another

Because of the thing A did on Fri-Sat night, I can’t trust him. He couldn't sleep so he was in the living room. I fell asleep normally, but had a terrible nightmare. 

First we fought and I was screaming at him and I wanted to throw him out. He didn't even care. He never even tried to stop me, which made me even madder. Then I wished it was all just a bad dream. I then woke up, to an even worse version of that dream. A had bought drugs and he had them in my bathroom. My cats were there in danger of eating weed so I was really pissed off at A. Then we had a huge fight, a drug dealer friend of his was there, A was acting like a total douche. I was screaming so loud I could and crying, but there were no tears. I thought I had cried them all out. A was acting really immature and just kept hurting me with being like his douche bag friend. Not anything like he is normally. I was thinking about the big chef’s knife in the kitchen, how much I’d want to use it. I wished it was all a dream. I then woke up to an even worse version. I was screaming at him, crying (without tears) and about to throw him out. He didn't care, which hurt me even more. He even said he was going to find someone else so he doesn't care if I kick him out. I just got madder. I had the knife in my hand and stabbed A in the back. Nothing even happened; he just kept insulting me more while I was hanging in his back with the knife stuck. 

I then woke up, super relieved that it was ALL just a dream. 

Stressful driving

Last Friday I had a dream that I was supposed to go sign in for school, late in the evening, during the Christmas holidays. I was really tired and driving in my home town. Then suddenly I was on an old co-workers  blue, thin, bicycle. I could barely ride it since there was snow. I went over a bridge and thought that I’d wake up with doing some biking in the cold. Then I deiced to turn back. I had a rabbit holding on to the steering wheel. Then it jumped on the ground, and it could not grab it’s leach. There was a Bus driving by and the rabbit jumped and got kind of sucked in, or squashed between the Bus doors. I felt horrible about the rabbit. Then I got back to my car and started driving home. I was so tired I almost fell asleep at the wheel and I could barely see out the window and there were so many people out shopping and just walking over the road, who I had to doge, and almost hit. When I woke I found my BF had done something he promised he’d never do…

"See how horny you make me"

Last night I had such a weird dream again... I wonder if all people see this sort of dreams or if it's just me. At least my nights are never boring. Can't but laugh at this sort:

I had been doing some sports at my friends (Tony) family sporting center. I was about to hit the shower at the parents house (which was actually like my apartment look like), and the parents were both there in the bathroom. I was waiting for them to leave, but they just stood there. I started to get undressed and they still just stood there. I asked if I could get the soap and shampoo, and Tony's mom gave them to me. His dad still stood by the door. I stood there butt naked still waiting form them to leave. They had just had sex and Tony's dad was now naked. He wanted to shower with me. I said "no" and started showering. Tony's mom now left, but the dad staid. He forced himself in the shower with me. I tried to wash my hair and took a step aside but Tony's dad just got closer and closer. By this point he had a boner. He showed it to me and said "See how horny you make me". I was only thinking "Doesn't he know that I've had a relationship with his son, for several years, and just had sex with one guy who's almost like a son to him, just a couple of weeks ago). I also though about my boyfriend (A is back in the picture) and started thinking, "wait.. how could I have had sex with that guy if I'm with this guy... ooh yeah it was still back when we were not together". One funny thing about the dream is however that Tony's dad was longer, blonder and about 15 years younger than he really is, and his penis looked almost as A´s.

So many weird dreams again

It's been a while since I wrote down my dreams the last time. Mostly because I've had lots and lots of dreams, but I forget them shortly after I've woken up. Lately however, I've been having dreams about my cats, or Gavin. We don't work together anymore and I kind of miss him. Especially now, this time of the year and that feeling around the company Christmas party, the looks he gives me and that "let's go somewhere else". Not that things aren't good at home, but it's just that tiny tingle that I miss, or the excitement, that burning look. I can't really remember anything else from my dreams, than:

I was in the workplace cafeteria and Gavin was there, trying to talk to me, being close, and I always dodged him when he got close, so that I would not touch him. I was disappointed at him, for not trying to stop the management of laying me off. I did not want him to touch me. I did not want him to get the satisfaction, even though I was dying to touch him. When he was able to touch me a bit when passing by, I felt it through my whole body. Then, at one point he was talking to me and kissed me on the cheek, but I went away and he was there looking like "don't go". 


I was with my sister at this sport center body boarding indoors and it was super fun. 

I was still working at my last job. They made me work there even though they had laid me off. I was supposed to be enjoying paid free time, but they made me work. I was shouting at the manager, and he was like Satan himself. I was mad at Gavin too, for not defending me, for being such a wuss. 










My kitten woke me up in the middle of the night by sniffing my face. 

Dreams from the past weeks.

I was at home, and my dad and mom came over. My older cat, P, run out and I had to catch her. Then she run out again, and I had to catch her again. 

I was babysitting this little boy and his sister. At one point I put them on the sofa to watch TV. I went to the toilet (or something) and when I got back they were sitting in a hugging position on the sofa, with their sort of souls outside of their bodies. Their eyes were shut, like they were sleeping or dead. I was wondering about it to someone who said things like that might happen. 

I saw Gavin at this cafe. I was with my current co-workers, but went to talk to him. He had these rings, which was meant for him and his girl, for their engagement. He was showing them to me and telling me how the 3 rings were going to be melted in to 2. Then I was looking at one that had fake diamonds. I asked about them and he said they will be used in the new one. I asked about them being fake and he said it doesn't matter that they are fake. 

I woke and tried to turn on the lights, but nothing worked. There were again these bad shadows in my apartment doing me harm. I shouted at them to leave me alone and stop messing with me and my cat. I picked her up in my arms to protect her. 

Something about sex with A. 

A was sleeping over and he woke to the cats making noise and was really mad at me for it. 

Gavin had put his blue sailing jacket up for sale via Facebooks Buy/Sell group. I called him and said I could take it unless someone else will buy it. He said he had though about calling me and asking if I wanted it. It was fairly new but it said it was "soaked". I think it had been lying in the rain over a night or a whole day. I then had the jacket at the end of the dream, and it was light blue turquoise, and wet. 

A was in my bathroom with some chick he met through Tinder, discussing her bush, and wanted to trim her before having sex. She was sitting on my toilet and saying how she like it the way it was. I wasn't in the dream, I saw it as if I was watching a tv-show.

Dreams from a couple of weeks back

I was in a bar, with a pool. Some guy came up to me and asked "What's up (me)?". I didn't recognize him so I just walked away. He started following me and then started jerking off so that when he came it flew all over me. I called the cops, and they did not believe me at all. Instead they made me take a drug test and I tried to convince them of what had happened was very real and that there are people who saw this. 

This one skier friend of my sisters and I were send IM's to each other, while laying on these mattresses just infront of each other. Then he took a picture of me and made it in to a fat face picture and sent it to me and said "now you see how much you and your sister look a like?". 

I was with my ex, A in a hotel room, getting ready to have sex, but then he left with some people to watch soccer. Some people staid in our room. Somehow there was a mess and no one helped me clean it and I was really frustrated. 

Something about D.

My ex, A, gave me some really cheap plastic engagement ring, that later turned out to be some huge glass fake diamond ring. 

There were wolves in the forest. I was with my cat and she sometimes run towards them, and I had to protect her/ catch her. 2 tried to attack, but then a rabbit came and then a boar and they went after it instead. I grabbed by cat and run towards the car. 

2 dreams about sex with my ex, A and his penis

I was making the bed for some old lady, and I put the sheet really tight. She then said "Oh this was very comfortable to lay on, and not like it was before".

I gave a BJ to some rockstar. I hade some candy in my mouth that made my tongue black and he really loved the black mouth/tongue.

Flesh eating bacteria kind of disease

Last night I had a couple of dreams about this guy I met a few weeks ago (let's call him Kevin). We were out partying, him, his friend and me. We all ended up at his place even though I got the feeling they are going home and I have to just get in my car and leave. His apartment was really cool (though nothing like his apartment is for real). It had big glass windows and a cool view. When we got to his place I was looking at his white socks and though "are those the same as yesterday" because there were these light brown smudge stains on them. Then he took off his socks and showed his feet. There were tissue showing and holes between his bones and ligaments and he told me he had this disease where the skin and tissues are  degenerating. I was thinking that, that's the reason why he's still single... and how he'll look when it spreads to his face.

It was the same dream continuing or another but it was again about Kevin. I remember bits and pieces: I had to shower again, even though showering like 1 hour ago. I was driving with my sister, mom and dad and I was trying to look for his house, when my sister and amount said "there he is", but I didn't see him on the street because I was just looking for his house and car. There was this really steep downhill road that we drove. I saw one windy narrow road going uphill and said "that's where we went with ? that one time". Then I had to pee really badly. My dad wanted us to go to this harbor and there's a toilet everyone knows who goes there, but it was locked since it wasn't season. Then my dad wanted me to take a picture of him and the toilet door, but I had to pee so my sister then was to take it. I then tried because my sister is terrible at photographing, but my dad was blocking the whole bathroom so all I got was him, his shoulder or a terrible blurry picture.

Archipelago

I was somewhere in the archipelago. I was looking at this one place on the map and then me and my ex's cousin Nico were in a boat. We were looking at the scenery and I saw this beach. I said to Nico that we have to go there in the summer  and thought to myself "so that I'll get to take nice pictures to put up in Instagram, for "D" to see that I have a life". 

Kittens

I was watching over 6 kittens, who suddenly became 7 kittens, and a Doberman. I was protecting the kittens from the dog, even though it didn't seem to want to harm them, but I didn't trust the dog. 

Meeting the family

I was at "D"'s place and he was on the phone. He said "yeah, we'll be there". After the call I was wondering what..? And he said "We're going to my grandmas to eat, and mom and .. will be there". I was confused. "D" then said that "Everyone want's to know who [my name] is".

Metallica concert

I was going to a Metallica concert and I got 3 free tickets. Suddenly I had 6 of them. The announced the seat and the name of the person having that seat. When it came to me they gave a seat and then said "no wait, there's some mix up here. You're supposed to stand where the dogs are". I was thinking "what? stand? dogs?". The whole venue was like an airport with restaurants and shops and these gift boxes with I think a piece of chocolate cake in them. I was hungry and looking for food and thought that at least I'd have the cake but I really want some salty food before that.

Spooky attacking shadows and wolfes

I was in some dark place. Sometimes it felt like I was there myself and sometimes like I was watching what was going on from a TV. It was dark, spooky, freaky, night, moist.. Sometimes my sister was there. I picked up food from some Chinese/Thai place and walked around with the box with food in my pocket. I was supposed to eat with some girl (also Chinese/Thai). We were outside the place where I got my food and I asked her to get her own. I got Chow Mein Chicken. I think she though I'd give some of mien to her, but I knew it was going to be so good that I did not want to share any. Suddenly my food box was pen and there was a box of matches on the lid. Then there were these shadows, that first appeared on the walls and then attacked people. I was never attacked, nor that afraid of them. Not sure if I was just watching a huge TV or if they were "real". Then I was in some what seemed like an abandoned buildings dark wet corridor and a bunch of wolves were running towards me, or past me, and then one of them started attacking the others. They were all sort of humans, that just looked like gray, white, black colored wolves. The one that started attacking them, slowly turned her face from wolf to a "hexenbeast" to a woman, who was looking and growling at me.

Instagramming again

Gavin and "D" had started following the same person on Instagram. 

Sex

The night before last:

I had sex with "D". Just normal sex, like we do it in real life. We fucked, normally, me on top, and I was teasing him by playing with his nipples. Then he told me he was close to coming so I got off him, wiped his dick and gave him head, carefully though starting by kissing him from his nipples down going down to his balls and then up along the shaft, trying not to "taste myself" at any point. He was moaning and making his smiling "it feels so good" face and then I got back "on the saddle". 

The weird thing about this dream was that everything, except the room and bed, was exactly like it is in real life.

Stressful weird dreams continues

For the past 2 nights I've seen really stressful dreams again. I can't remember the dreams from the night before last, but last night I had a couple - three dreams, which are mostly a blur by now but I can remember this:

Some fat around 45-year-old guy had a cut in his head and a tick in the cut. I tried to avoid him like he could somehow transfer the tick on to me. I was really grossed out and stressed about the tick.

I was at "D"'s place cleaning his bedroom (it didn't look anything like his bedroom but in my dream it was). There were clothes everywhere and I was starting with putting dirty clothes in piles, one for dirty sheets, one with dirty clothes and another with sheets or such. At some point one of his sisters came in the room and we talked about something. I also found some new, new orange socks that I put in to a bundle and on a shelf or in a basket.


I was sitting in a group of people, next to "D", and I think my sister was there. I was talking about how I could never date a guy who's fat and bald, and how things change when you actually meet a man who's not perfectly trained, rather chubby, and who's loosing his hair. "D" looked at me a bit disappointed and hurt, but I tried to correct myself saying how I meant that that's what I thought before, and I've changed, that those sort of things don't matter anymore.

The peach dress

I had my peach colored H&M lacy dress on. I was going to work and/or I was at work. I had problems with how the dress fit and sometimes problems with my ass showing. I was thinking about Gavin and "D" from time to time and about the dress and my problems with how it fit. 

There's a man in your room

Last night, quite early after I had fallen asleep I had a dream. I was sleeping and someone said "There is a man standing in your room". I opened my eyes and might have seen a shadow, but thought to myself "It's just a dream". 

Cats & Cops

During the weekend I've had dreams about cops and cats. I can't remember details anymore, but it's been mostly stressful dreams e.g. where I have to do a breath test while driving, one of my cats (new or the old one living at my parents) not obeying me or slipping out and I have to chase it and try and catch it, or some other similar "stressful" situation with a cop or cat. Although, the dreams has never had both at the same time. It's been about the cat or cops.

Only a few dreams during the past few weeks

I've only had a few dreams (that I can remember something off when I wake). I've seen 2 dreams about my cat. One where she was running outside, mostly following me around, like a dog, without a leash and sometimes she was on a leash. I also had another dream about her but that's all I know.

Then a couple of dreams have been about my job. Since I'm leaving my mind is playing tricks with me about it. One dream was about our marketing material folders. I was getting some from the cupboard and it was really messy. The later one was me geting laid off and some guy getting hired in my place, even though no one was supposed to take my place, which was the whole idea in me leaving. I wasn't getting fired so they were not supposed to hire anyone, and if they needed me back they should've hired me back. I was really angry yelling at people. 

I haven't had any nice dreams about me lately. I've wanted to see Gavin in my dreams, but haven't (so that I'd remember). Last night then (after I yesterday sent D (the guy I've been "seeing" for 7 weeks now) a message asking if he wanted to join me on this trip or not since he said he also wanted to travel to the same destination) I dreamt I got a message where he wrote "Hi, I think it's better to be single and fool around a lot for a while....". I've forgotten the end. I remembered it 10 minutes ago but, well it's gone. Normally the first thing I do when I wake is check my phone but I haven't dared to.

The past week

For the past week I've seen so many dreams, some of really crazy. At this point I can only remember pieces, since I just wrote down some of the main things on paper, but I'll try and describe the dreams as close to how they were, as possible.

I was drawing pictures of seals on a paper.

Something about this guy "D" who I've been seeing since Easter.

My ex had joined Facebook again, and Tinder at the same time.

"D" called me. He was back at home. He said he had gotten a ride from his bestie (who's a girl) and he'd been drinking a lot and they had sex. Before explaining the whole situation he said "We don't have to talk anymore". I asked him several times what he meant by that, but he just kept saying the same over and over again. Then it was like he'd left the phone somewhere and didn't listen. I called him back and he said the same again. I asked him to explain what he meant, since I didn't care that he slept with her and told him that "since we're not together, we've only had sex a few times and been dating so you can do what you want". But then he wanted to see me and we were laying on my clutch in my apartment, which was actually my parents apartment and they were at home.

This one famous DJ and I was on something like Tinder and we became a match. He then started chatting with me, like FaceTime and I thought we were just going to chat, but he wanted me to undress and show my boobs, and he would then show his penis. I told him I wasn't there to do that sort of stuff and closed the conversation.

I was with my sister. We were driving this really old crappy car. We were looking for a parking space for a really long time and then finally found one and parked the car in the city center and our parents were there and I asked them to hold this cake I had. At some point we were in a café. We were going out with the girls and the group of us were walking in the city during the night. We walked towards this star gazing / astronomy house and I thought the view looked really cool and thought that I'd take a picture and post it on Instagram so "D" could see it. All of this was in Sweden or Denmark.

We baked this cake for mom, since it was Mother's Day. I woke up in the morning to find that the frosting had melted. The whole cake was just a wet sugary cake with sugar paste flowers on it.

I was at the hairdresser and coloured my hair dark brown and cut bangs. Just like my mom's hair, so I looked just like her, but 20 years younger.

Me and my mom, and my sister and dad were there too but not with us all the time, were at some gala. We were walking around and then got these Veuve Clicquot giftbags with a VC camera and then there were some salmon cubes.

My sister and ? was with the dogs along on this trip. There was some UFO thing and they were going there or coming from there. I told her I'd be sending her a message or calling her when I'm in Sweden.

I was at some party. My 2 new small tattoos I took had totally faded. I could only see some small parts left of them. One of them also had these extra lines that weren't there from the beginning. I was trying to cover them up so Gavin wouldn't see them, since he liked them earlier when I had just gotten them. I was looking for a toilet. A friend of mine, who's place we were in, showed me to this toilet in one of the bedrooms, that was hidden under clothes. I went there, it was really small, and then while sitting on the toilet I noticed this girl I know ( who was also living there but not joining the party,) laying in the bathtub. The bath area and toilet was decided with shelves so she couldn't see me.  Since I wasn't supposed to be in the toilet I tried to be really quiet so she wouldn't see me, but then I managed to drop her make-up kit and she saw me. We had a small chat and then I was done.

My breast had swollen a lot from my pills.

I was in my Ex's sisters Sarahs apartment about to return some clothes. She told me I can keep 3 pairs of pants. Then I needed to change, and she had these big windows, and I needed to leave the bags of clothes somewhere where no one could see them from the outside.

I was participating in some bike and running marathon. During a brake we had we could all take a shower.  But all of us, most people from work were there and we had to share the shower. The towels were really tiny white ones. I didn't have one so I had to borrow from a co-worker. When I was taking the shower, Gavin and 2 other guys from work were there sitting on a bench, waiting for their turn, and I was looking at Gavins penis.

Me and my sister had thrown a party at our parents house. They came home in the middle of the night from some vacation. In the morning, before they had woken, I noticed a lot of cigarette buds on the terrace floor that had frozen to the floor and ground and I told my sister we have to clean up everything before mom and dad wake up. Then my sister was sleeping and I was in the house and there was some Boogieman after me so I went and hid between my sisters bed and the wall, under a blanket and I could see the Boogieman entering the room.