Beginning of March 2018: Practice and sex...

Lately I've had 2 things that stress me out: my upcoming practice in a hospital (for the fist time) and whether or not I will have sex with this one guy, or not. We had a shower together 2 weeks ago and he said the sex will come "next time"... But when is "next time". At times it seems like there won't be a next time, and then suddenly he might surprise me with a picture, but that's all I get. So I had a dream where we had sex, but all I could see was us before and after. Then I've had dreams where A has somehow interrupted everything.

Last night I was in some poolarea on a party late at night with my friends, wore a green bikini and was hugged by my friend L. We were close but it was just as friends. He has a way of hugging very passionately, so one girl said to me "looks like you want more, you know he's taken, right? so you're basically cheating". I won't lie, the touch and hugs felt good, but for real, he's not the one I want, it's M..

I've also had several dreams of me being in a hospital for practice and even though I try my best, my teacher is not satisfied. I've had to watch over a patient after surgery, who was still covered in blood all over, and help in daily stuff, having everyone mad at me for not helping. Last night it was my first day again and we were sitting in a room waiting to be picked up by our supervisors, and one guy had forgot to bring toothpaste so he got shower duty, as a punishment. And I was put in the wrong waiting-room with another girl. 

Jan 1-3rd, 2018: Sex

I haven't been dreaming much for the past 6 months. I've been stressed out and slept very poorly. But after a New Years Kiss, something changed, and since, I've had sex in my dreams, every night:

Jan 1st: The guy who kissed me, Newbie, on New Years Eve, was in my dreams. We were hanging out at my place. H looked at my sheets and asked when I have changed them. I told him within a week, they looked like they were just changed. He still asked if I could change them. Then I lay on his lap and he was rubbing my boobs. Then I was touching his chest and his tattoos (which he don´t have in real life) and he was looking at mine. I really needed to go to the toilet (poop) so we both went to the bathroom (separate) and cleaned up before having sex. 

Jan 2nd: I had sex with John Beaver, also a friend from the New Years party. Can't remember much more than the kissing before...

I also got an offer to come back to work. But I had my school (I'm studying to become a nurse), so I was struggling with going back or staying in school, of if it was possible to do both, since there was a risk that I'd have work 2 years and then again get laid off because of cost cuts. 

Jan 3rd: I was visiting my old job, which had moved to new premises. They had a party and I saw Gavin flirting and then kissing another old co-worker. I asked if he was like that since I left and another co-worker told me he's been sleeping around with all the girls. And that his wife (or fiancé) knows it.  I pulled him aside and asked what the hell he's doing and why he's after that nasty woman. We fought a while and then decided that we're going to go have sex. So we took a hotel room  At the respepion the lady told she only had one room left, and it's nice byt has ants in the sink. Gavin hesitated and I told him we're not going to need the kitchen so does it matter? However we got another room, and went and had great sex. Afterwards it really felt like we finally had the best sex.