December 18th: Cake and a fwb (single mom)

Another weird night

At work (my old job at DB). There was some party and cake. I had some, but could not have as much as I wanted since I needed to go to the toilet. My stomach was turning and I felt I need to go now! I did not want anyone to see so I thought I'd go home or something. When I was leaving I met Gavin on the way. I thought, No not him of everyone, not now. We joked around for a while and I was thinking how weird his blond curly hair was looking, like he'd gotten a perm. 

I had A's sister, cousin and cousins mom over. A was dressed really nice, had cologne and had shaved his awful beard. I asked if he was supposed to meet someone when he was all "fancy". He said yes. That he has a Tinder date while C is sleeping. He was going to stay at my place until her nap time, go on a date and then come back. I started crying and yelling that he's the worst. That he chose drugs over his family, then when I leave him he decides to quit and then THIS! All his family members were interested in was her. Not what he was doing to me and our family. I asked about the other girl and he told me her name, and where she lives. And said that for once he'll be with someone good looking. I just yelled at him and his family for being so mean and at my house, only interested in his new fwb or girlfriend to be, when he's hurt me and done what he did to his family. I told him he's never to step foot in my home again, and from now on, until we have a meeting with child protective services about his time with C and alimony, he will not see C more than 1h once a week, outside on our house playground. I fell asleep and saw the same again. Fell asleep and saw the same again. Fell asleep, and again this same hurtful dream.

December 17th: ?? (single mom)

I had a long super weird dream. Something with A and maybe Gavin. I'm not sure anymore and it's all on the tip of my tongue but I just can't remember. Something about sex and that guy my sister is setting me up with... hmm.

December 16th: Twins (single mom)

I had twins, one girl one boy. A was the dad. I was alone with them too, as I was with C. I was trying to breastfeed them both at the same time. 

December 10th: Groupie love (single mom)

I was in the home of one of Slipknots members. He wasn't a current member, he was someone new. I can't remember how I ended up there, if it was some accident, a horror story, if I was watchin a movie about a horror story or what. I needed to go to the bathroom, and after a while the guy asked if I was finished, that he needed to take a shower. He had only a towel around him when I opened the door. I stood there talking  to him, and he took of his towel and smiled and said I should probably go now. So I stood there with his towel in my hands, had a super quick look at his penis, both smiled and I focused on keepin my eyes on his eyes. Then I waited on his sofa. Later we went through my pictures and Facebook and i showed him I had been at Sid's a few years back and he called him "Silver" (instead of DJ Starscream). This guy had also put a flagstick in a flowerpot outside his house, with my country's flag on. We sat there on the sofa talking about my previous hangouts with Slipknot and the band in general. Then we kissed. It was weird, kind of like when 2 kids do it... The rest is a blur.

December 5th, 2016: Gavin is back (single mom)

I've had some dreams lately, but fotget them almost the minute I open my eyes. But last night, I had one long dream, already starting to forget things, but I'll try and remember what I can:

I was in the city, eating, next to Gavin, his friend and kids. At some point I was at their table. My mom asked if I was to go to the soccer game, she'd left tickets to. Tickets me and my sister had loked at earlier. I was confused, then thought I could go. When we were all walking away Gavin shouted (as a joke) "You'll never see me again" and I shouted back "I don't care"... I though I should've said something funnier. I started running to make it. Then thinking about posting a picture of me, holding a beer, at a soccer game, just hoping there'll be lots of people or it would be embarrassing. Soon I was in a hotel, with Tony (although I was supposed to be having an affair with A). We were to have an affair. We started making out. All I could see from mirrors were me in a t-shirt, undies and cellulite filled legs. We tried to avoid being seen from the restaurants at ground level, not minding to close the curtains. We went on kissing and touching.. then suddenly he just stopped and started to make a mess of the place. I asked him to stop since I have to clean it all up, and the sticky fluid he was pouring on the carpets was going to be impossible to clean. Then asked why he was suddenly really rude and stopped caring about having sex, he said "I already jerkerd off 1h ago, since it takes for you forever, when you used to have come 4 times in the same time". I told him I have never done that... an besides it's easier now after birth". The rest is a blur. However the dream had lots more about Gavin that I can remember.