Sex

The night before last:

I had sex with "D". Just normal sex, like we do it in real life. We fucked, normally, me on top, and I was teasing him by playing with his nipples. Then he told me he was close to coming so I got off him, wiped his dick and gave him head, carefully though starting by kissing him from his nipples down going down to his balls and then up along the shaft, trying not to "taste myself" at any point. He was moaning and making his smiling "it feels so good" face and then I got back "on the saddle". 

The weird thing about this dream was that everything, except the room and bed, was exactly like it is in real life.

Stressful weird dreams continues

For the past 2 nights I've seen really stressful dreams again. I can't remember the dreams from the night before last, but last night I had a couple - three dreams, which are mostly a blur by now but I can remember this:

Some fat around 45-year-old guy had a cut in his head and a tick in the cut. I tried to avoid him like he could somehow transfer the tick on to me. I was really grossed out and stressed about the tick.

I was at "D"'s place cleaning his bedroom (it didn't look anything like his bedroom but in my dream it was). There were clothes everywhere and I was starting with putting dirty clothes in piles, one for dirty sheets, one with dirty clothes and another with sheets or such. At some point one of his sisters came in the room and we talked about something. I also found some new, new orange socks that I put in to a bundle and on a shelf or in a basket.


I was sitting in a group of people, next to "D", and I think my sister was there. I was talking about how I could never date a guy who's fat and bald, and how things change when you actually meet a man who's not perfectly trained, rather chubby, and who's loosing his hair. "D" looked at me a bit disappointed and hurt, but I tried to correct myself saying how I meant that that's what I thought before, and I've changed, that those sort of things don't matter anymore.

The peach dress

I had my peach colored H&M lacy dress on. I was going to work and/or I was at work. I had problems with how the dress fit and sometimes problems with my ass showing. I was thinking about Gavin and "D" from time to time and about the dress and my problems with how it fit. 

There's a man in your room

Last night, quite early after I had fallen asleep I had a dream. I was sleeping and someone said "There is a man standing in your room". I opened my eyes and might have seen a shadow, but thought to myself "It's just a dream". 

Cats & Cops

During the weekend I've had dreams about cops and cats. I can't remember details anymore, but it's been mostly stressful dreams e.g. where I have to do a breath test while driving, one of my cats (new or the old one living at my parents) not obeying me or slipping out and I have to chase it and try and catch it, or some other similar "stressful" situation with a cop or cat. Although, the dreams has never had both at the same time. It's been about the cat or cops.

Only a few dreams during the past few weeks

I've only had a few dreams (that I can remember something off when I wake). I've seen 2 dreams about my cat. One where she was running outside, mostly following me around, like a dog, without a leash and sometimes she was on a leash. I also had another dream about her but that's all I know.

Then a couple of dreams have been about my job. Since I'm leaving my mind is playing tricks with me about it. One dream was about our marketing material folders. I was getting some from the cupboard and it was really messy. The later one was me geting laid off and some guy getting hired in my place, even though no one was supposed to take my place, which was the whole idea in me leaving. I wasn't getting fired so they were not supposed to hire anyone, and if they needed me back they should've hired me back. I was really angry yelling at people. 

I haven't had any nice dreams about me lately. I've wanted to see Gavin in my dreams, but haven't (so that I'd remember). Last night then (after I yesterday sent D (the guy I've been "seeing" for 7 weeks now) a message asking if he wanted to join me on this trip or not since he said he also wanted to travel to the same destination) I dreamt I got a message where he wrote "Hi, I think it's better to be single and fool around a lot for a while....". I've forgotten the end. I remembered it 10 minutes ago but, well it's gone. Normally the first thing I do when I wake is check my phone but I haven't dared to.

The past week

For the past week I've seen so many dreams, some of really crazy. At this point I can only remember pieces, since I just wrote down some of the main things on paper, but I'll try and describe the dreams as close to how they were, as possible.

I was drawing pictures of seals on a paper.

Something about this guy "D" who I've been seeing since Easter.

My ex had joined Facebook again, and Tinder at the same time.

"D" called me. He was back at home. He said he had gotten a ride from his bestie (who's a girl) and he'd been drinking a lot and they had sex. Before explaining the whole situation he said "We don't have to talk anymore". I asked him several times what he meant by that, but he just kept saying the same over and over again. Then it was like he'd left the phone somewhere and didn't listen. I called him back and he said the same again. I asked him to explain what he meant, since I didn't care that he slept with her and told him that "since we're not together, we've only had sex a few times and been dating so you can do what you want". But then he wanted to see me and we were laying on my clutch in my apartment, which was actually my parents apartment and they were at home.

This one famous DJ and I was on something like Tinder and we became a match. He then started chatting with me, like FaceTime and I thought we were just going to chat, but he wanted me to undress and show my boobs, and he would then show his penis. I told him I wasn't there to do that sort of stuff and closed the conversation.

I was with my sister. We were driving this really old crappy car. We were looking for a parking space for a really long time and then finally found one and parked the car in the city center and our parents were there and I asked them to hold this cake I had. At some point we were in a café. We were going out with the girls and the group of us were walking in the city during the night. We walked towards this star gazing / astronomy house and I thought the view looked really cool and thought that I'd take a picture and post it on Instagram so "D" could see it. All of this was in Sweden or Denmark.

We baked this cake for mom, since it was Mother's Day. I woke up in the morning to find that the frosting had melted. The whole cake was just a wet sugary cake with sugar paste flowers on it.

I was at the hairdresser and coloured my hair dark brown and cut bangs. Just like my mom's hair, so I looked just like her, but 20 years younger.

Me and my mom, and my sister and dad were there too but not with us all the time, were at some gala. We were walking around and then got these Veuve Clicquot giftbags with a VC camera and then there were some salmon cubes.

My sister and ? was with the dogs along on this trip. There was some UFO thing and they were going there or coming from there. I told her I'd be sending her a message or calling her when I'm in Sweden.

I was at some party. My 2 new small tattoos I took had totally faded. I could only see some small parts left of them. One of them also had these extra lines that weren't there from the beginning. I was trying to cover them up so Gavin wouldn't see them, since he liked them earlier when I had just gotten them. I was looking for a toilet. A friend of mine, who's place we were in, showed me to this toilet in one of the bedrooms, that was hidden under clothes. I went there, it was really small, and then while sitting on the toilet I noticed this girl I know ( who was also living there but not joining the party,) laying in the bathtub. The bath area and toilet was decided with shelves so she couldn't see me.  Since I wasn't supposed to be in the toilet I tried to be really quiet so she wouldn't see me, but then I managed to drop her make-up kit and she saw me. We had a small chat and then I was done.

My breast had swollen a lot from my pills.

I was in my Ex's sisters Sarahs apartment about to return some clothes. She told me I can keep 3 pairs of pants. Then I needed to change, and she had these big windows, and I needed to leave the bags of clothes somewhere where no one could see them from the outside.

I was participating in some bike and running marathon. During a brake we had we could all take a shower.  But all of us, most people from work were there and we had to share the shower. The towels were really tiny white ones. I didn't have one so I had to borrow from a co-worker. When I was taking the shower, Gavin and 2 other guys from work were there sitting on a bench, waiting for their turn, and I was looking at Gavins penis.

Me and my sister had thrown a party at our parents house. They came home in the middle of the night from some vacation. In the morning, before they had woken, I noticed a lot of cigarette buds on the terrace floor that had frozen to the floor and ground and I told my sister we have to clean up everything before mom and dad wake up. Then my sister was sleeping and I was in the house and there was some Boogieman after me so I went and hid between my sisters bed and the wall, under a blanket and I could see the Boogieman entering the room.