Only bits and pieces

Lately I've been dreaming a lot but I can hardly remember anything from my dreams, later than a few seconds after waking up. Before this I had a week or two when I couldn't remember anything.  What I can remember, looking back a week or so, and last night this is what I've dreamt, in the order newest on top.

Something about trying to have sex with "A" but he said he was only thinking about taking a shower. 

I was in L.A. and looked at this map. I was trying to copy the map into my head so that I could find a bike. I started walking, I was looking for a health centre after which the bikes that were for rent would be.  I thought the centre looked quite nasty, and nothing like a hospital. I went inside and saw really sick people and tried to find someone. Then I realised it wash't a normal health centre when I saw this poster or paper on the wall/door, where it said AIDS, HEPATITIS,.... (and some other deadly disease). I went out, trying not to touch anyone too much but still a little so that no one would attack me. Outside I started walking to where I thought the bikes were, but there were none. I just ended up at the end of a road, and there was a carnival or something. I remember thinking about or having a view of the future where I had cool pictures of the booths at the carnival type of place. I started walking back, I then got some guy to join me. He was some old child movie star. He was there to help me, kinda like a "big brother" (even though he was way younger than me). Suddenly I was joking about staying there and going "Mexican". Then we found the bikes, and I could imagine the map in my head. The guy was telling me why I couldn't go "Mexican" or an illegal immigrant. However I ended up being forced to "work" for free at this mani-pedi place. When I got there, the older Thai woman who owned the place was saying my nail polish was wrong and my feet too dry, she was going to do a pedi for me, because I couldn't do customers looking like that. My toenails where painted light blue and then suddenly I had one toe red and one peach coloured and she was telling me how none match and something about the blue and red. The next thing I remember was that I was supposed to make some ornament or something and was outside. It was winter and there was snow. I was trying to find pine tree cones. I had to hit agains a tree beside a house, and it's walls so get some to fall and to not get caught by the people living there. Inside I wanted to watch a program from a tape, but the tape jammed and the VCR player made a weird noise. I only got to watch a part. It was called "Stars" and my co-worker, his girl friend and another guy and girl where in it. They were snowboarding and just hanging out. At one point the other guys girl got a bit too close to my co-worker so they filmed his girlfriend getting super jealous and mad at the end. More towards the end all of the other episode people joined and were all making flips at a pipe. Then the VCR machine made a high and loud noise so one of the Thai men who sat in the same room turned it off. 

Some woman had me wait or come inside this building. I did not follow her orders as to wait, but followed her. It was really dark, the building was like a big factory or machine room, or server room. I went trough this space between tables or shelves and saw the machine going nuts, starting to blow up parts of itself and people's working booths. I hid under a table but soon realised that it was after me. It or I said something about it not stopping before it's killed me, so I took my bag and carefully went back the same way I came in. 

I had 3 boobs. When I didn't have my bra on, I had 3 boobs. I was freaking out, how would I ever find a bra. And how would it look if I stuffed one boob in one cup and two in the other. And what would my boyfriend think and how would it look at work. Then I had my bra on, and everything looked normal, like I had only 2 boobs. 

I was at the office, printing out pictures of houses, like I was looking for a new place. "Gavin" came and asked if I was moving and I said "no, just looking". Then he came close (I sat, he stood) and I leaned on him while we were talking. Then he had to go (something about his girlfriend) and I just felt his body still on my cheek. If I remember correctly, I saw my boyfriend walking towards me (or maybe it was his girlfriend)... However what is weird is that our office, was again like a huge hall made of dark granite and we had our cubicles and small lamps with dim lights on our desks. So quite the opposite of our real office.

"Married" doesn't change anything

Haha I finally remember what dream I was supposed to write about, a dream that has been haunting my mind since I saw it. It's hilarious.

I was at work and this "Gavin" had gotten engaged suddenly, and not told anyone. How this came to my information I've forgotten. However, I then wrote him on our internal chat "congratulations" and he replied "oh thanks". Then everyone started talking about it. I was angry at him because he was getting married. Then he asked if I wanted to come and check out the place and I was hesitating and then he said "But you have to see the dress, it costed 10.400". I thought "Who the fuck pays that much for a dress and why the hell is he so excited about a DRESS!". He showed me this space in our office and told me they were getting married there (in just a few hours or days). I thought it all sounded insane. Then he said "you can come if you want". But I told him that I didn't want to and he kept saying that I should come. Then I said "Do you really think that I want to see you get married" and he said "Well it doesn't change if I get married" and I said "What? So you mean nothing will change.. yeah right" and he said "Me being married won't change anything. Things between us will still be the same" and then he stroke my cheek and was close to kissing me. 

Interrupted by fire

"A" and I broke up on Monday, after 4 years and I feel lost. Even though I knew it has to be done, I don't know if I can live without him. All the thoughts in my head are a mess. I've dreamt of us since then, but nothing I can remember that well, only the that I dreamt about him. But I just had a dream about something else.

It was dark, like outside in the night. I was with someone (the only thing I remember is that he had dark brown hair, that was a bit over grown and started to curl up). There were many people around. I was really horny and the guy I was with and I lay down. He started lowering my shirt to touch my left breast. Others could see but I didn't care. My hard swollen round breast and hard nipple was out and the guy gently touched it and kissed it, and started to softly lick my nipple. It felt so good. Then some man said something and close by was a fire, I could see the darkness, the flames and the guys hair I was with and my breast and it just felt so good. The fire was taking over and we had to stop, then I woke. 

Previous dreams

I haven't had the time to write about my dreams lately. But I have two I can remember from December.

My sister borrowed my parents camera and when se returned it, she had forgot to delete the pictures, so looking though them with my mom we found pictures of her on some boat. Suddenly there was pictures of 3 guys she was with and they were standing naked, then there was a few close up pictures of their penises. We started laughing with my mom and were wondering why she'd have pictures like these. Then in hurry we realised we have to delete them quickly, before my dad sees them.

The other dream was of me being in a shopping mall. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes opened. Then people started shooting and all the lights went out. I ran to the stairs and found myself somewhere high, sort of a rooftop or storage level. I tired to get away but the gunmen were everywhere. I could barely keep my eyes open. I found something to hide behind, then got a gun and shot one of the guys. I was trying to get to the stairs but my legs were so tired I could barely stand up and realised someone might be there so I just hid under a pile of cardboard. I was falling asleep. Suddenly some gangster ripped the cardboards that lay on top of me and said "Do you think you can hide from us?". He took me with him. I woke up in some small house, among other girls. It was a place behind this shopping mall, with pools, park benches some trees and a few small houses (well house is the wrong word, bigger than a changing booth but barely fit 5 people to lay on the floor. Some black guy came and said I had to do everything he want's or they'll kill me. So to stay alive I went along with being their "bitch". They gave me a swimsuit and I was supposed to hang out with the other girls in the pools. Then at one point I had my phone. I started texting my boyfriend (we were still together then) and then I got caught. The guy cam in the house and asked what I was doing and wanted to see. I said nothing, that I'm only catching up with my friends. We were allowed to text with friends, so that no one would think we're missing, but not our boyfriends or tell anyone where we are. He gave me clothes to wear and said I was supposed to go to the pool until he tells me (until he wants sex). I was changing out there in the open, slipped my clothes off and stood there half naked, but thought, "whatever". Then I got to my phone again and managed to text "A" "malls name, kidnapped, help". Then the gangsters start putting up things for a concert, while rap music was playing really loud. Suddenly they just started shooting at us with machine guns. I ran, found this alley that lead away, I saw "A" in his car, jumped in and asked him to drive away fast. His car was this really crappy one. I had to hold on to the door so that it would stay shut and the wheels were so worn out that they just slide on the road (even though it was summer). The gangsters were behind us. We got to this intersection and stopped in the lights and then drove away.

Pregnant or flat tummy?

A couple of weeks ago I dreamt:

I was standing on the street, looking at myself in the mirror and noticing, that if I raise my arms my tummy looks weird, but if I stand normal, it's flat. Suddenly I stood there naked, and pregnant. Not ashamed because no one else saw me, just looking at myself wondering how I suddenly was pregnant. 

Boy on the Bus as my neighbour

I was sitting on the Bus with this tattooed guy behind me (same as in the weird party at the shopping mall dream). Suddenly this girl I know sat beside me and she knows that guy. We started talking in our mother tongue and suddenly he also spoke the same language and I started to talk with him and then we were both in the same apartment building and he was my neighbour. I was living with my sister and he with his brother and mom and I was hanging out at their place and talking things like "see you tomorrow" like we were best friends or about to start dating even if the dream wasn't sexual or one where I had feelings. Once when I was leaving their place to get to mine (which was just across the hall) he said "not that door, take the other one"...

Mushroom penises and raped by a dog

There was some huge happening at a shopping mall. I was trying to find something, it was like a treasure hunt. Suddenly it was a huge party. Partially our company party but there were other people too. This one guy who rides the same Bus as I, was one of the bouncers. I saw a friend, jumped on his back and wondered who the two girls was he was with, since none was his girlfriend. Then suddenly this guy, the Bus guys friend who is in a reality TV show was there and the Bus guy and he went out for a smoke. I followed them and met this girl who is on the same show and started hanging out with her. We decided to pair up for the treasure hunt. I saw a guy put mangos inside a sand path, in its walls and figured "great now I know where we should look". That girl I hang out with was walking on the sand path and suddenly a hole opened, where from started pouring out watermelons. They piled up so high that she was like on top of a mountain of melons and tried to get down. Then someone had a gun, inside. Then I stood with some guy at the hallway of the mall and he took out the gun and switched it to a smaller one and I was laughing at it and said it was cute, then he was about to shoot me so I ran. Some weird people grabbed me to hide me inside what was like an office in a school. They blocked the door and I had to climb in through some tiny window. The next part is disturbing. There was this big bed or something and two ugly nerdy men pulled out their penises and one looked like a tiny tiny skinny mushroom and the other short and really ugly. The were masturbating  and rubbing their dicks together and they said they always do that and it feels so nice. Then they came. And they left behind what looked like huge lines of snot. Then someone held me down and I had only a robe on, some woman pulled it open and then a black dog came and raped me. I could feel the nasty sperm all over and felt sick. I just wanted to wipe and wash it off but some guy an woman gave me just a small tissue that was already in sperm, since they tried to wipe off the worst amount first. The woman said I should just lay there. There was black nasty curly dog hair all over me, like I had a hairy man body. Then suddenly I was outside at a pool and there were 3 guys, one in shorts, one in white briefs and one naked. I could see the penis through the white briefs, because they were wet and the guy had a pretty big dick. Then the naked one, who was the guy who plays Neil Caffrey in White Collars (hot hot hot), got a boner and I shouted it out and he tried to cover it but then moved his arms and just sat there with a big boner.